Instant M*ssaging

I probably spend too much time on Instant Messengers, or “IM’ing” as nobody but me seems to say. I justify this as I have friends whom I like to keep in touch with and are far away from me; back home in the UK, out in Chicago, a few blocks north of our apartment, or sometimes sitting directly across the table from me. And there’s something to be said for the strange personal nature of an IM – silences are not as uncomfortable as staring into someone’s eyes, waiting for them to say something; there is an assumption that they’re probably doing something else, and then *ping*, in comes the next message of wittiness. And somehow, a smiley face is far less creepy on IM than your buddy inanely grinning at you in real life. It’s true – test it out next time you throw in a :D , get someone to pull the same face – you see? Creepy. My vote is for IM smiley any day of the week. Maybe not on a Tuesday, but any other day.

Something I spend very little time doing is getting a massage. Yep, that was the transition set-up; change the e for an a. Genius. I’ve had very few massages, but I went for one today. Maybe if I was a massage pro, this feeling would dissipate, but somehow I always spend the first 30 minutes of the massage trying my hardest not to feel uncomfortable. I don’t know why I do this. OK, maybe it’s the lying naked on a massage table in the presence of a stranger with just a couple of sheets covering the crown jewels. Maybe it’s wondering whether I should have my eyes open or closed. Or if I should be starting up a conversation with the masseuse. Or where my arms should be. Or figuring out whether those are panpipes playing. Is that the same as a pan flute? What was the name of that band who had a panpipes hit in the UK? Incantation? That’s right, Incantation. Why did I buy that single? By this point, there are so many things going though my mind, that just as I’m starting to relax, time is up, and I’m left in the room to collect my thoughts.

Before leaving, I went to take a sneak peak at the CD to see if it was Incantation. There was no CD player. Damn this modern technology. But at the end of the day, it’s still a massage, and so I left the room with a :) on my face.

Don’t you love a story with a ‘happy ending’?

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~ by eddie on October 14, 2007.

2 Responses to “Instant M*ssaging”

  1. As a total pro at receiving massages, I recommend closing your eyes and slipping into a massage coma to relieve any “weirdness” – though I rarely feel weirdness because, hell, I am paying to be relaxed. Well, someone is paying – since I don’t have a job it is almost never me. Anyway – I recommend sleeping, the worst you can do is snore.

  2. итак: отлично!!

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