Don’t Criticize What You Don’t Understand, Son.

The title of the blog is apparently a quote from Elvis Presley, and as much merit as it may have, I’m about to go against his advice.

I’ve been sick these last few days, so other than blogging about mucus (which I will do when I feel better), I have very little to talk about. Enter SkyMall magazine, and here we go:

“Alive Elvis Animatronic Robot”

OK, so this is wrong on SO many levels, in fact, maybe on every level. Let’s start with the name, ‘Alive Elvis’; ignoring the dreadfully poor grammar… no, I can’t ignore that. OK, I’ll ignore it, you’ve convinced me. So let’s leave the name for now. Let’s take a look at this product – first thing that jumps out at me is that it doesn’t actually look like Elvis – for a nickel short of $300 (no, that’s not a mis-print), this thing should have been modeled from Elvis’s fricking death mask, and it should scare me that it looks so much like him; sideburns and a big-collared leather jacket do not an Elvis make.

Next, the instructions tell us to, Press “Alive” and Elvis comes to life–checking you out and talking you up’. Um. Yeah, OK. If I wasn’t thinking it was dumb beforehand, you’re starting to convince me now. For $300, how many Elvis classics is this piece of plastic going to sing for you? That’s right, eight. Oh, you guessed more, huh? Well sorry, just the eight. I know exactly what you’re thinking now: “Can I sing along to one of these songs too?”. I’m happy to report that it does have a karaoke feature, so you can prove that just as you had no taste when you bought the product, you also have no vocal talents either. And apparently, as an added bonus, you can also plug in your iPod, and Elvis will happily sing along to 50 Cent, Britney or The Spice Girls… So. Wrong.

And in case you were wondering, Alive Elvis is the first high-quality animatronic robot of any superstar ever designed for a fan’s home or office”. Ever! Let’s also hope that it might be the last…

elvis.gif

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~ by eddie on December 11, 2007.

2 Responses to “Don’t Criticize What You Don’t Understand, Son.”

  1. “Heartbreakingly realistic”??? I think the heartbreak comes from knowing that this is real . . .

  2. Not just real, Hottie, but ALIVE . . . And I forgot to talk about the IR remote control. Damn.

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