Just Your Average Hotel Room

First, may I just apologize for the snow in here – during my reconstruction efforts, I’ve had to remove the roof, so the snow has started to come through – why shouldn’t you all experience some Chicago?

I’m on the road for a couple of days, and I’m staying in a ’boutique’ hotel, a chain I’ve stayed in before, and was expecting to find nothing but your average hotel room, only smaller, because that’s really what ’boutique’ means.  I walked into the room, and indeed, the room was small.  Looking around my room, it had the  usual amenities – desk, mini-bar, plasma TV, safe, pocket etch-a-sketch, . . . wait, what???  I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been in a hotel room and all I’ve wanted to do was sketch something with a couple of dials, just in miniature.  And now I can.  Well, that is if I get bored with the yo-yo that is also in the room.  I actually missed work today because I was just yo-yo’ing my little English heart away.  I didn’t even get around to the snake puzzle – if I was only staying a little longer.  Oh, and I can also purchase the yoga CD that is here – I really don’t understand the concept of a yoga CD, but I’m not so intrigued that I’m going to pay $15 for it.

Then I opened the wardrobe to grab the ironing board so I could iron my shirt.  The ironing board was there, right next to the leopard-skin pattern robe, boxer shorts, and camisole.  Because, ummm . . . I have no idea about the because here.  And chatting to  Missy earlier this evening, she asked me if these glorious items of clothing were unisex – I can most definitely report that the camisole was very tight on me when I tried it on, so no, they are not unisex.  And there is no photographic evidence to prove this.  None whatseover.

And then it was time to shower this morning – yes, readers, we’re going to get X-rated now, so if you’re easily repulsed, please step away from the blog.  So I step into the shower, and do all things shower-related, and after a while I’m super-clean, and smelling like whatever scent the  soap was supposed to be.  I then turn the shower off, and pull open the shower curtain, and almost drop dead when I see Robin Williams standing in front of me, naked.  Yes I was shocked – who wouldn’t be?  Then I realize that the bathroom door had swung open to position the full length mirror directly in front of where I would step out of the tub, inches from my face, and it was my own naked body that had scared me so much.  Yes, I do share body characteristics with Mr Williams.  I believe they call it hirsute.  Well, yes, also “damn hairy”, but hirsute sounds so much better.

All of this was incredibly hilarious to me, which was most definitely needed after waking up at 4am, as awake as I could ever be, thanks to the puppies conditioning my body to wake up at 6am, and the pacific time zone assisting with the other 2 hours.  Makes it even more bizarre that I’m writing this blog post at 1:30am, a matter of hours before I  need to wake up to catch my flight back home.  Oh, insomnia, how I *heart* you.

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~ by eddie on December 10, 2008.

3 Responses to “Just Your Average Hotel Room”

  1. Well the answer is OBVIOUS-they put you in the Elliot Spitzer suite. Those items were still there because people forgot about them once Spitzer was stopped. Not the same thing as “George Washington Slept Here” but….um…I forgot where I was going with this.

  2. I pretty much forgot was was going on with the hotel room too!

  3. Might I just say that this is my most favorite Eddie blog post. Ever.

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